tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91674481713718829592024-02-08T04:45:35.469-08:00Has It Come To This?Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-34002440530397405502012-05-30T01:06:00.001-07:002012-05-30T01:06:16.390-07:00The Dark HorseI swear I blinked and all of a sudden, like a massive open hand to the face, reality smacked me. I am 29 years old. I am by no means saying I am over the hill. I feel fantastic, living a full, busy, and eventful life. I am lucky to have so many great stories to tell, and those that know me will attest - once I get started - even the break of dawn won't stop this tongue from flapping tales. But man, I'll tell ya - knocking on the doorsteps of 30 is a funny thing. <br />
<br />
I remember elementary school, collared shirt and maroon tie, soaking up the word of the Lord.<br />
<br />
I remember junior high, searching for that balance between Catholic morality, change, and boobs.<br />
<br />
I remember high school, driving a beat up orange car, leaving my morals at home, and falling in love.<br />
<br />
After high school is when things changed for me, as they do for most. What's odd is that the next eight years blended together so much, that I only remember events, but not exactly when they were, or everything that happened. I refer to 18-26 as the "lost years." I can't disregard these years, as they helped shape and motivate me to be the man I am today. Believe you me, I may not remember everything, but I damn well know I enjoyed it. There will always be an ache in my soul for those I hurt, those I lost, and for those that will never know the Shaun of now, but the Shaun of then. But hey, no regrets.<br />
<br />
I have learned so much, and come such a long way. I am as confident as ever and still push for great things to come of myself. I was put here to exceed expectations. If you ever hear me say otherwise, I will welcome that open hand to the face. <br />
<br />
So now, I see what I am rounding out to be, and to me - its something special. I hope everyone can find that in themselves, at the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. <br />
<br />
30 doesn't scare me like I always thought it would, maybe cause it won't happen till March. :)<br />
<br />
The fire burns bright.Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-31812041747189876422012-05-16T01:48:00.000-07:002012-05-16T01:48:24.592-07:00A Man With No CauseA man with no cause<br />Has lost his paws<br />Has gloved his love<br />Bites his jaw-<br />Dawn drifts away<br />No more today<br />The night lacking light<br />Leaves him frayed.<br />Skin down to bone<br />Cant heal alone<br />Beat from the feats<br />Words just roam-<br />Eyes leave him blind<br />evil was kind<br />Turn to stone lost a home<br />Lost a mind.<br />
<br />A man with no cause<br />Robbed of his laws<br />Remain in the vein<br />Couples flaws.<br />Direction be skewed<br />Pieces for few<br />Left to collect<br />Start anew.<br />Touch but a ghost<br />Of memories most<br />The cold of the hills<br />Now will host.<br />Shouts valley cast<br />Echo with mass<br />The wind cleans the sin<br />Free at last.Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-41550866554864451342012-05-06T13:23:00.002-07:002012-05-06T13:23:12.387-07:00RespectRespect is something you are not entitled to. So why does it seem everyone thinks that it should be graced upon them, much like the gift of life? Sure, I know, not everyone is such a dick. Fact is though, most people are. Certain people prance around like they are hot shit and the world can't touch them. Do you think you are invincible? You will die and be dust just like every other living thing on this planet. No one is high and mighty. We are all self aware biological organisms roaming around a terrain of emotion and physicality. Self awareness is a gift that most people take for granted. Being mindful of our thoughts is, for some unknown reason, fading to the back burner. All a person needs is a manipulative motif, a sly tongue, and some sort of physical stock to "play the game." I guess being real is old school, but I will rep that style till the day I stop walking this green Earth. This material world has tipped the balance of the just, and its starting to make me sad (take your break from reading here to check your Facebook, Twitter, texts) and frankly annoyed. I know this freight train of materiality cannot be stopped, and yeah I embrace it. I hope everyone can see how different people act now because of it. Fast forward back to the present here on May 6th, 2012 and I've had it. I have decided that animosity is worthless unless you tell the person its directed towards, that it exists. Expect more of that out of me in the future. Expect that I will no longer hand out respect like a flyer for a local show. Expect more of me entertaining myself, and a lot less of me entertaining you. There is just no point, especially when some people, show zero respect to me in return. I am not entitled to anything. What I do have, I have earned it, maintained it, and respect it. I was given life and stumbled through it. Now, here I am, a disrespected respectable man. <br />
<br />
"Disillusioned words like bullets bark<br />
as human gods aim for their mark<br />
made everything from toy guns that spark<br />
to flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark<br />
Its easy to see without looking to far that not much is really sacred."Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-78328357008597226362012-02-23T23:58:00.000-08:002012-02-23T23:58:14.044-08:00February ShowersThe curtains are a bit dreary, but through them I can hear the rain falling within the trees. Another late night attempting to focus on what matters now less on the big picture. The two are directly related, yet both seem to lie on opposite poles of my mind. Didn't John Lennon say that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans? I lose my thoughts in my words, and my words in my thoughts. The things I crave can only be attained through work and attention to what matters. It's quite the concept - its simplicity and glaring truth. I have but now to regain the focus I need, to break through the ceiling, and say that I steered this ship to the best of my ability. I feel so clever and confused, full of confidence and doubt, ease and worry, all at once. A crackpot? Nah, just a see-sawing guy who weighs things with multiple scales. Clarity in what I want, what I need, and what makes me happy will fuel the progress. Mind over matter, but not what matters.Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-22864636034855386962012-01-08T16:39:00.000-08:002012-01-09T01:17:14.659-08:00Only I CanAs New Year's Eve approaches, many across the globe have a view of change, turning the page, and making amends with the wrongs in their lives. Some see January 1st as a rebirth. What many fail to recognize is that a new year doesn't change yourself, others, and all the situations and struggles that we lie in each night as we sleep. Now, over a week into 2012, nothing is new and fresh. How do so many get fooled every year over the changing of the calendar year? The only catalyst for change is that within our individual selves. Only I can remove the rubbish from my life. Only I can find the good and embrace it. Only I can set in motion the changes that I wish in order to be a happy man. At times of trial, we search for answers. We turn to those that we value, yet devalue their opinions. We search for advice, yet the only words taken to stock are the ones that we emotionally agree with. In the end, we do what we want, regardless of the outcome. I hope one day I can be less of a novel character and more of a man of movement. Only I can make this happen. Only I can allow this to happen. Only I can make my reality worth while. Only I can trim the demons. Only I can be me.Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-77134204100982531882011-07-19T01:20:00.000-07:002011-07-19T01:20:58.027-07:00Super Mario Bros.When Super Mario Bros. 3 came out, it was one of the most highly anticipated days that I can recall from my childhood. This was when video games were not commonplace, but cool. Rumors ran wild that Mario could now fly, and being a very young boy at the time this was like having a second Christmas day. As I grow older, newer and anticipated releases just do not seem to get me excited anymore. I figure, when I want to experience the new products, I will. I don't even play video games anymore. I haven't been to the movie theaters in months. Am I transforming into a lame robot, or just merely unconvinced by the hype that surrounds anything that is shoved in our faces on a daily basis? Buses, stadiums, websites.... everything is strewn with advertisements and hype! I wish I could still feel that excitement again, the excitement for something new. The anticipation of my personal Super Mario Bros. 3.Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-48650196308434184292011-06-29T01:14:00.000-07:002011-06-29T01:14:20.556-07:00The Long and Winding Road Throughout the course of the day it is nice to reflect on personal goals. What do I want to accomplish today? This week? In the next year? In a world filled with instant gratification, social media, and a surplus of information, we all have to step outside the box and strip down our thoughts to the root of their origin. If you allow yourself to continuously push forward, caught in the riptide of today's society, the days bleed together and nothing gets accomplished. Allow yourself the time to breathe, to think, and to release the stresses that bare down on us every single day. The purpose of life isn't about where you are and what you set out to be, it is all the shit that happens along the way. As you search for your destination, you will be pulled in many different directions and tempted to fall off the highway of life. Sure, the highway is the quickest route, but wouldn't you rather enjoy yourself and succeed at the same time? The best way is not the arrow straight A to B, but here, there, and everywhere. The best way to travel is on the long and winding road.Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-23906986721859667842011-06-20T00:24:00.000-07:002011-06-20T00:24:42.703-07:00RollercoastersOne day its this thing. The next day, another. We all have our ups and downs, lefts and rights - but in reality the one thing we do at a constant is move forward. Sometimes you may want to turn back time, but hair dye and layers of makeup only cloak the truth we refuse to acknowledge until our latter years. Time isn't real, life is. However, both are used as a measuring stick that you cannot replace or revert. Embrace the movement, and quit putting off things till tomorrow when you can do them today. Be aggressive.<br />
<br />
One day, you will feel shittier then you have ever felt before. You will convince yourself at that moment, that you have reached the deepest depths of your barrel. Eventually though, it wears off, and things start to not seem so bleak. Then, one day, you might not give a fuck anymore and reach the state of neutral thought. Now with that you will embrace the story of it all, and continue forward until something new excites, intrigues, or makes you happy. After all, life is just a bunch of sequenced stories that only you can tell. <br />
<br />
With these highs and lows, ups and downs, lefts and rights, and circles we spin in, we still are moving forward, kind of like a rollercoaster.Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9167448171371882959.post-86793255364544077712011-06-14T00:58:00.000-07:002011-06-14T00:58:53.239-07:00MondaysWhen I woke up today I felt like I was literally dying. My liver pumped like a well churning for its last ounce of water. After a wake, nap, wake, nap, wake cycle, I was overcome with the boredom of feeling useless and accomplished everything I thought would take me all day in the matter of two hours. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. When you drive long distances with nothing but yourself and Bob Dylan on the jukebox, one may tend to drift into a life of reflection. Me, I just speed. When you wanna fuck with someone who truly believes greatness is embedded in their loins, well, ya better step up, or step aside. This is the dawn of the day. The day of reckoning. The day where everyone will know my name.<br />
<br />
<br />
Postscript.. Little league baseball is truly a gift in itself. Go to a game sometime, and listen to the passion of the kids and their parents. It is a shame that we can't all be all-stars.Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13153391494256447617noreply@blogger.com1